I Run Because I Eat: Wasp vs. Caterpillar

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Wasp vs. Caterpillar

Never thought I'd be standing in my yard cheering for a wasp, but that is what I was doing less than five minutes ago when this wrestling match of the century unfolded before my eyes atop an eggplant. It was beautiful.

Wasps: 1
Caterpillars: 0

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My Language Defined

1. The issue of Sex. In order to be more gender inclusive I've decided to start referring to all unknown sexes (of insects, mammals, and maybe some people) as both male and female in the same sentence. So don't be confused when I say, for example, "She seems like a really nice guy," or "My husband is such a good wife."

2. Prepositions. I end my sentences with prepositions whenever I want because it is now grammatically acceptable to do so with. of. by. So get with the times.

3. Wordmakeupage. I make up words quite often. I'm an educator--I consider it my business to be creative and contribute to the development of the English language. If Homer Simpson can have "doh" added to the dictionary, I want to do the same.

4. Swearing. In my attempt to stop using foul language (that is probably upsetting my mother) I will occasionally steal a method I learned from 'The Fantastic Mr. Fox' --which is to replace all swear words with the word "cuss." (ie: I can't believe that little cusser ate all my cussing basil leaves. What the cuss!)